So just to warn you I am going to be really honest in this blog. Some people, including myself like to hide their feelings instead of talking about it. I used to do that by eating food. Well now it's time to be totally honest..
Like the title of the blog says.. sometimes I wonder if it really is worth the fight. I have been thinking about it the past couple of days.. Lately I've been in not the best mental place that I could be.. I feel like I have been drowning to the point where I can't gasp for air anymore. I have been a fog where I have no idea where I am or where I am going. All I pretty much want to do is cry lately except for when I am around friends and family.. This has been going on for the past couple of weeks. This is basically what happens... Most recent incident, I wrote my new blog entry a couple of days ago and I was so determined to eat healthy for 21 days straight and going to excercise for at least 30 minutes a day.. Well here comes day 1 and I am good for most of the day and then my brain kicks in and I want to eat.. I did eat some not so healthy stuff. Surprisingly I still lost 8 ounces haha.. I don't know how.. I thought I was going to gain at least a pound.
So back to the question... Is it really worth the fight? I have come to the conclusion that I would rather spend my life fighting for what I want in life then to get to the end of my life and see that I did nothing. Yes weight loss is a haaaaaaaard battle to beat but I have seen many people win that battle. I want to be in that "winners circle"! I know it takes hard work and dedication. Sometimes I just feel like I have no more fight left in me.. I told my mom this morning that I have lost the will to fight..
So right now you might be thinking of me differently but hey at least I was honest and I got it out in the open. No more bottling things up and letting it eat me up inside. This is the point where I need to pick my butt up and just keep going along. I know I will get to my goal weight eventually it's just going to be a long journey. I mean hey I didn't gain the weight overnight so it's not going to come off overnight. No more making goals to look forward to because that just causes me to sabotage. I am going to work hard at getting this weight off but just with no more pressure of getting it done..
Time to go start Living :)