#overcome

Good morning everyone! I have to give props to my Dad really quick. So I have been really struggling the past month with my eating and just staying on track. Even through all of my battle, he keeps telling me to overcome. Just like Mandisa's song. Before I was defeated and thinking I am just too weak to do this anymore. Well now I fully believe that I am a person who overcomes. This mental battle is over. The victory is mine!

Let me give you an example of why I struggle so much. There is for a lack of better words, voices that are constantly talking in my head all day long about what bad foods I should be eating. It always is amplified when I am doing really good with my eating. Along with the constant voices, is the voice of negative thinking. Thinking your not good enough, why even try, guys aren't going to like you until you are thin, your not pretty like she is, look how disgusting you look, and the list can go on forever. I have something to say about that, NONE OF THAT IS TRUE! That is not who God says I am. That is what the enemy wants me to think. I am no longer going to take it anymore. I am a fighter and yes all fighters fall down sometimes. The real strength is when you stand up again. Well, as of today I have stood back up and I am back in the game! 

Yesterday I had the chance to go to San Francisco with some of my best friends. It was such wonderful trip and it actually helped inspire me to get back on the horse. There seriously were runners EVERYWHERE! We were sitting on the beach by the Golden Gate bridge and I was just in deep thought most of the time. I was thinking, I am so tired of living this way! I want to do what they are doing, being healthy and keeping an active lifestyle! I want to run 5K's, half marathons, marathons, and maybe even a triathlon one day!

Now that I am standing back up, it is time to start working on being positive and keeping the healthy lifestyle! With God I know that I am capable of anything. I only have 153 short days until I leave for Australia! I have a lot of weight to lose and a lot of money to earn/raise! If you are interested in donating money to my YWAM journey please comment or message me! Thank you so much!

God Bless,

Kirstin

YWAM in Newcastle, Australia!

I have huge news!! I am going to Newcastle, Australia for YWAM! If you are wondering what YWAM is, it is Youth With a Mission! I have heard so many great things about YWAM and have had a couple amazing friends go to different bases. I really felt that God was leading me to go Newcastle and so that is where I am going to go!! 

I need to raise a lot of money to go and I need your help! I need to raise a total of $11,000. That will cover the cost of the schooling, outreach, and flights. Every little bit counts! Even if you can only give $5, that would mean so much to me! On top of raising the money, I would love to have your prayer support! Prayers can do many miracles and can help in so many ways! So if you could be praying for me that would be AMAZING! 

Here is the link to help donate towards my YWAM trip :)
http://www.gofundme.com/8penjw

If you have any questions or would like to hear my testimony, I would LOVE to talk to you! E-mail me at livinlife4God56@gmail.com

God Bless!!
Kirstin :)

Beating the Odds

So here is my wonderful news that I got from the Endocrinologist this morning:

1: I have an enlarged thyroid

2: I have a FAT GENE. He told me that there is no medicine to cure it and no matter how hard I try to lose weight that my body just wants to be fat. He told me that my only option is to have weight loss surgery but that it isn't even for sure that the weight will stay off. 

I have something to say about that... THAT IS A LIE FROM THE PIT OF HELL!! Excuse me sir, but I just lost 57 pounds in pretty much 3 months. Yes when I start eating poorly the weight comes back on my body like it's going out of style, which is very unfortunate. I have to come clean about something. The past couple of weeks I have started eating again because I have a lot of very stressful things going on in my life right now. In the two weeks that I have been eating, somehow I gained 25 pounds. That is NOT NATURAL! I do agree that I have a thyroid problem but I DO NOT agree that I have a fat gene that wants to keep me fat. That is just the enemy's plea to keep me down! Well sorry but this girl is a FIGHTER and I WILL NOT GIVE UP! 

Sorry for the capital letters and they way that I have been talking. I am just so furious.. Why would you seriously tell an obese person that they have a fat gene and that no matter what they do they won't be able to lose weight because their body just wants to be fat.. I am NOT getting a weight loss surgery. I know for a fact that I can do this on my own without a surgery to help me. Yes it might take me longer but it will be well worth it in the long run. 

On a very positive note though I leave for YWAM in 165 days!! I really need your help with financial support but more than that I need your prayers!! Prayers are just as important as the funds to go! I am so excited to be able to go and serve! I can't wait to see all the children and people that we get to help and minister to! I can't believe I am leaving so soon! Time to kick this girls butt into high gear to get stuff done! 

Love Y'all and God Bless!
Love,

Kirstin

Phase 1: 1st 90 Day Challenge

Wow what a crazy ride it has been in the last 3 months!! It's been so nice not being on Facebook or Instagram, but I have missed all of you so much! I bet all of you are eager to know how much weight I have shed off! Well as of this morning I am 52.5 pounds down! I am so stoked! I cannot believe I have actually lost that much weight! It is actually 13.35% of my weight that I have lost! Living life is so much easier doing things now! When I do my normal weekly stuff, I don't get as tired anymore! I am also working faster, better, and stronger! I love it so much!!

Here are my before and during photos:

Front: 

Right Side: 

Left Side: 

And these are from New Years Eve until now :)

I don't really know what to write about the past 3 months! Honestly it's all kind of a blur! January I was spot on with my eating! I never even cheated once with my eating! I lost 31 lbs! I re-measured myself on February 1st. I unfortunately forgot to measure myself on January 1st so I had to use my beginning measurements from when I was at the Dungeon. 

These are my results from that month:
Neck: 0 inches
Bust: 0 inches
L Arm: 4 inches
R Arm: 4 inches
Waist: 5.75 inches
Hips: .5 inches
L Leg: 7.5 inches
R Leg: 7.5 inches
L Calf: 4 inches 
R Calf: 4.25 inches

Total: 37.5 inches gone forever!

and these are my results as of today!
Neck: .5 inches
Bust: 2.5 inches
L Arm: 5 inches
R Arm: 5 inches
Waist: 7.5 inches
Hips: 3 inches
L Leg: 11.5 inches
R Leg: 11.5 inches
L Calf: 4.5 inches
R Calf: 4.5 inches

Total: 55.5 inches gone forever!!!!

I cannot believe how much my body has shrunk! I know a lot of it was from the Dungeon because of all the amazing workouts though! I really miss it there. I am especially happy how much my face has shrunk too! 

I did the Run or Dye again this year and I wanted to do comparison pictures. It is insane how much difference there is. Well at least to me lol. 

So now is the time to have "real talk". Super Bowl Sunday I allowed myself to eat foods I hadn't eaten in a while and went overboard with my eating. That triggered a weight gain because I started eating really bad again. I believe I gained about 15 pounds within a week or two. I lost those extra pounds and plus more, but then I gained it again. I probably did that about 3 or 4 times, but by the grace of God, He always shed that extra weight off super quick. Sometimes when i lost the extra weight it would come off within 3 to 4 days! It was insane! I was soooooo grateful though!

So in March I was able to go visit one of my best friends Elizabeth in LA! I was there from March 7th until the 16th! On the 8th I actually went to the casting call for Extreme Weight Loss! It was such an amazing experience. We waited in line for 3 hours! When we got there at 7 am, there was seriously only 11 people in line.. I was shocked there was barely anybody! By the time 10 am hit, there was still maybe only 100 people in line! The casting call was open 10 to 4 though, so probably a lot of people showed up later! 
I was in the 2nd group to go in. There was 8 people to a group and we had 15 minutes. They wanted us to state our name, age, where we are from, what led to our weight gain, why do we want to be on the show, and what is the first thing you want to do when you get to your goal weight. 

For the 1st question I said that I put everyone else's needs before mine and taking on peoples problems as my own. Which that of course is my choice, not anyone else's choice! Now that I am thinking about it, that probably was a really bad answer.. Oh well. I think my answer for the next questions was basically saying it would be an amazing opportunity. I occasional watch friends kids and really want to be able to run and play with the them. Right now its super hard for me. The last question I wanted to say skydiving but 3 people had already said that, so I said that I want to run a marathon. The executive producer seemed like she really liked that answer. Then she asked which one and I said I didn't know but I would love to do one in Hawaii because I've never been there. 
Later that day I found out that Ashley Hylton from Season 3 was there meeting people! I wanted to meet her so bad!! One of the awesome and positive things out of this experience was I made a new friend named Rhonda! She was super cool! We had a great time waiting in line together with Elizabeth!!

Now lets talk about the rest of my trip :)
On both Sundays I was able to go to Elizabeth's Ethiopian church where she teaches Sunday School! It was so much fun and the kids were so adorable! We also went to the Getty Center! It was so wonderful there! We got all dressed up thinking other people would be too but we were the only ones. It was hilarious and so much fun! We went to Venice Beach right after and I wore my dress still on the beach! It was a lot of fun getting looks from people. I got to see Muscle Beach but unfortunately nobody was working out! I also saw the set of American Ninja Warriors! It was so cool looking! The Friday before I left we went to Huntington Beach. It was incredible! The water felt amazing and there was an amazing sunset also! We got a lot of great pictures too! Here are a couple pictures of Elizabeth and I!

Here are some other photos from the trip :)

I had such an amazing time down in LA with Elizabeth and I am so excited to see her again soon!!

When I was flying back home, the plane had a two hour delay!! That was so not fun! Unfortunately even after the weight that I have lost I still wasn't able to fully be able to fit into just one seat but I was able to pull the extender belt tighter! Plus my leg barely overflows into the next seat! I am almost able to use the regular seat belt!!

Here is a picture of me from Sunday :)

Ok, well I will stop writing now even though I could go on for days writing!! I pray that all of your are doing well! If you EVER need someone to talk to or just need some encouragement, PLEASE e-mail/call/text/facebook me!! My e-mail is bibbys_gurl_56@hotmail.com

LOVE Y'ALL!!

~Kirstin

Being Fat is NOT a Disability.

Recently I went to Dallas with one of my best friends. I am a super morbidly obese person as most of you know. We normally don't easily fit or fit at all in just one plane seat unfortunately. Our first part of the flight to Los Angeles was fine because there was barely anyone on the flight. Once we got to our next terminal it was a whole different story. Just to be safe I asked one of the workers if it was a full flight. Sure enough it was 100% full. So we walked away to go to the barroom. Then sets in the panic and freak out mode because I don't like to make people feel uncomfortable. So after we finished up in the bathroom and we walked back to the terminal to wait for the flight. A worker came up to me and pulled me to the side. She told me that they were going to take care of me and give me an extra seat so we can comfortably fit in the row.

Apparently under some law or something they have to accommodate larger people now because they put it under the category of DISABILITY! Don't get me wrong I am so grateful that they helped me out because I was able to stop stressing and was able to enjoy the flight. But at the same time it makes me really upset with myself!! I don't want to have to be accommodated because of my idiotic choices that I have made over the past 13+ years of not eating healthy and not totally taking off my weight. It's not their fault that I am a super morbidly obese person! It's MY FAULT! So we go up to the counter and she prints me up a ticket to put on the seat next to me. Then she put the tickets in a disability sleeve so we could pre-board. I'm sorry but a disability?? It is NOT a disability with me being fat. It's all about choices. I do not have a disability and I am fighting hard to make sure something like this never ever ever ever has to happen again!

As of tomorrow, Tuesday 8/27/2013 I am going to do a 90 day challenge! Phase 1 is the first 90 days. I want to do the 90 day segments just like they do on Extreme Weight Loss. I just won't be doing the crazy weight loss they do because I want to go at my own pace. I am going to take a whole year to really focus on myself and make me the best me that I can make!! If I don't complete all of my goals in this coming year, it doesn't matter because I will have made huge strides! Even if I have to do it in 2 years that's great because those 2 years will be the best years of my life! Want to know why? Because I am fighting for my life and I will be adding back many years onto my life! I am not defined by my size or the number on the scale!

We had another situation happen where we were ordering food and she was looking at me talking about "us bigger girls." In my head I'm thinking uhhhh no. I am not that girl anymore! Yes I still may have a larger body and clothes for the moment but I consider myself a fit girl. The reason why I consider myself a fit girl is because you become what you think you are! 

So my friends, I am going to propose a challenge! I will be doing this challenge along side you also! I challenge you to go buy Chris Powell's new book Choose More, Lose More For Life. Read it from cover to cover and start a fresh new journey with me!! If you want to lose weight or just trim up, this will be a great challenge for you. I do have to admit though, I am still currently reading his book. So here it is. For the next 90 days I am going to just focus on eating healthy (eating the right foods) and working out. I am not even going to weigh myself until the 90th day. I have always set myself up for failure but not this time! I have always done a "challenge" and said I was going to lose such and such pounds. Well not this time. I'm not even going to give myself a goal of how many pounds to lose. My goal is just to stay on track woth eating the right foods and stay consistent with working out. My 90 day challenge is starting tomorrow August 27th, 2013. So my challenge will end a day before my birthday on November 25th and that will be when I weigh in. Anyways I hope and challenge you to join me on this journey!! If you need encouragement or support just contact me through Facebook or comment on this blogpost! I love you all and want the very best for you!!

Confessions of a Food Addict.

There I said it. I got it off my chest. I, Kirstin, have a food addiction. 

I have to admit, addictions are the worst! Sometimes I wish that I had a different form of an addiction because you can't get away from food. You have to eat it in order to survive. But I will conquer my addiction! I need to cut the emotional ties from food. I need to somehow figure out how to get rid of my addiction. I am working on it I promise!

The thing is.. I LOVE working out. It's just the eating that kills me every time. I am bigger than my addiction and I will no longer let it have control over me. Yes I may slip up sometimes but that's just what happens in life. I need to learn that I can treat myself every once and a while and not feel guilty about it!

Now onto really positive news!! So as you all know I have been working out in the Dungeon for technically about a month. I haven't been going as consistently as I needed to in the past but now I am going on a regular basis, except for today because I woke up with a huge headache and I have been throwing up.. I don't know what's wrong with my stomach today!

Anyways, my trainers Jamie and Josh are just all around amazing people! They seriously turn your life around! They are helping me save mine! I was totally upfront with Jamie yesterday about my food problem and now we are going to deal with it. It definitely took a huge weight off my shoulders when I told her that. So yesterday after my workout I wanted to see if I had made any progress with inches.. I thought that I hadn't lost anything or even gotten bigger.. Well here is some great news!!!! I have lost 26 inches all over so far :D I am so proud of myself! I know it could have been a bigger number but it can only go up from here and I am so excited!! I couldn't stop smiling all day yesterday because of it!

Thank you so much Jamie and Josh! I am forever grateful! I know I say that a lot on here but I really am!! Thank you for saving my life.. Literally!

I hope everyone has a beautiful and blessed day!! I am going to go lay down now and try to feel better!!

Love always,
Kirstin

Train like a beast. Look like a Beauty!

I officially have two new sayings. Train like a beast/ look like a beauty! My other one is WIP. WIP means Work in Progress! It's so true because I am a work in progress daily!! I haven't posted a blog on here for almost a year.. and to be honest that makes me a little sad because I used to love blogging so much! I really truly want to get back into the habit of it!

So here I am and I am turning a new leaf! I am a caterpillar that is officially finally going into her cocoon! I feel like a broken record for how many times I have talked about me losing weight. Well at least I keep getting back up on the horse and try, try again. 

This time is different for me. One of my awesome friends Stashia had found a trainer through her friend Jenni and told me about her. The funny part is, that trainer lives literally right around the corner from me! My trainers names are Jamie and Josh. They are an amazing married couple that literally transforms peoples lives! The Dungeon is seriously a place where you can go and you won't be judged for how you look or any of that kind of stuff! They just got a new place for their training and they are having everyone write their names, dates they started on, and what progress they have made. It gives me the chills when I look at everyone's progress. I am so thankful for the Dungeon because it literally has sparked that flame that I need in order to keep going when I get knocked down.

Let me tell you about some amazing women that I have come to know in the Dungeon. There is Jenni, Vanessa, Tara, Chanel, and Ally. There are a lot of other people that I have met but these ladies are the ones that I have worked out with the most and that really inspire me. 
All of them are absolutely amazing! When they are in the dungeon they are like a girl with her eye on the prize! 
Jenni is looking absolutely amazing! You can tell a great difference from her before picture! I just love the fact that she always has a smile on her face and even though she may break down sometimes because it is too hard, she always returns to finish it! That is determination right there!
Vanessa is looking really amazing too!! I am so glad that I met her because she is really encouraging and she also always has a smile on her face! I am so proud of her for the amazing progress that she has made! I can't wait to see more results from her!!
I've only been able to workout with Chanel a couple of times but she is awesome up in the Dungeon! She is also a very determined person and she also inspires me a lot!
I just met Ally a couple workouts ago and I am so glad that I met her. Ally is Josh's sister and because of that fact Josh is really hard on her with her workouts! She seriously is a beast when she works out because she does everything that he tells her to do! I would die if I had to do everything that he has her do! She has gotten some freaking amazing results though! She dropped I believe 5 pant sizes in 5 weeks! When I saw that my jaw literally dropped! It definitely shows you that hard work pays off!
Last and definitely not least is Tara! This girl seriously makes my jaw drop for how determined she is! It gives me chills just thinking about it! She was in the dungeon for 2 and a half hours last night! That means heart rate up the whole time and sweating!! It's just crazy! She has been with Jamie for 5 months and she has shrunk over 70 inches!! How amazing is that!? When I look at Tara, or any of the other people in the gym, it gives me faith that I can do it too!

I am so beyond grateful for the Dungeon family! It is a huge blessing! 

You will be seeing more postings from me in the near future! and with progress pictures too!! Hope all of you have an amazing and beautiful day!! 

~Kirstin

Reunited and it feels so good!

Hey blogging world! I have missed you so much! I'm back :)) So to get you caught up a little on my life. I pretty much gained all but like 15 pounds.. not good! I have also finally moved out of my house! I am officially living on my own! Other big news is I am going to be a big sister again! The baby is due around my birthday, my step mom's birthday, one of my aunt's birthday, and my cousin's birthday. All of our birthday's are two days apart from each other. It's kind of funny lol. But anyways last weekend one of my brothers (Matthew) graduated high school last Sunday! So proud of him! Well ever since I made a lifestyle change to eat healthier I haven't really been able to hold down red meat.. So me being stupid had a hamburger at his graduation party then the next morning I didn't exactly have the best of breakfast. Well as you might have guessed I pretty much got sick all day Monday. I threw up about 10 times.. Not fun. But I lost 10 pounds which was very nice. So I am finally back on track with my weight loss! Yay! At the moment I am now 27 pounds down! It's just going to keep getting better and better! I can't wait to see that 100 pounds down mark! It's going to be such an amazing moment!


I was going to name this blog I am worth the fight, but the title I have now sounded so much better. Let me tell you why I wanted to title it that. So basically this morning I woke up and weighed myself (as I do every morning, to keep myself in check basically) and I gained 4 ounces. I was seriously crying for like 2 hours. To be honest it was kind of pitiful. I finally realized what the heck it's only 4 ounces it's not going to kill me. Yeah it sets me back in my weight loss goal for Disneyland but it's not the end of the world. I'm going in 41 days! I'm so excited! I'm just afraid that I won't fit in the seats for the rides. I don't want to have another embarrasing moment of having to do the walk of shame because I don't fit in the ride..


Anyways back to the main point of this blog. It finally clicked in my head, i am worth the fight! I've sometimes just gotten to a low point and just thinking like what's the use, I'm just going to gain the weight back plus more, etc etc etc. So I have finally have been telling myself that I am really worth fight. For every step I take, every calorie I burn, and for every bite of healthy food I take. Lately I have been thinking about how I feel when I am not eating healthy and when I am eating healthy and working out. I always feel sooo much better when I'm eating healthy and working out but sometimes the junk food takes over becuase of how good it tastes.. I am starting to get really tired of feeling like crap because of the food choices I was making! I want to live this life well, not have my eating habits sideline me from life! Anyways that is enough for today! I will blog again very soon I promise :D


Oh and by the way, thank you from the bottom of my heart to all who have served and are currently serving our country! You all are my hero! Thank you for fighting for our freedom! Happy Memorial Day!

Love ya'll!

~Kirstin~

Sometimes I wonder.. Is it really worth the fight?

So just to warn you I am going to be really honest in this blog. Some people, including myself like to hide their feelings instead of talking about it. I used to do that by eating food. Well now it's time to be totally honest..

Like the title of the blog says.. sometimes I wonder if it really is worth the fight. I have been thinking about it the past couple of days.. Lately I've been in not the best mental place that I could be.. I feel like I have been drowning to the point where I can't gasp for air anymore. I have been a fog where I have no idea where I am or where I am going. All I pretty much want to do is cry lately except for when I am around friends and family.. This has been going on for the past couple of weeks. This is basically what happens... Most recent incident, I wrote my new blog entry a couple of days ago and I was so determined to eat healthy for 21 days straight and going to excercise for at least 30 minutes a day.. Well here comes day 1 and I am good for most of the day and then my brain kicks in and I want to eat.. I did eat some not so healthy stuff. Surprisingly I still lost 8 ounces haha.. I don't know how.. I thought I was going to gain at least a pound.

So back to the question... Is it really worth the fight? I have come to the conclusion that I would rather spend my life fighting for what I want in life then to get to the end of my life and see that I did nothing. Yes weight loss is a haaaaaaaard battle to beat but I have seen many people win that battle. I want to be in that "winners circle"! I know it takes hard work and dedication. Sometimes I just feel like I have no more fight left in me.. I told my mom this morning that I have lost the will to fight..

So right now you might be thinking of me differently but hey at least I was honest and I got it out in the open. No more bottling things up and letting it eat me up inside. This is the point where I need to pick my butt up and just keep going along. I know I will get to my goal weight eventually it's just going to be a long journey. I mean hey I didn't gain the weight overnight so it's not going to come off overnight. No more making goals to look forward to because that just causes me to sabotage. I am going to work hard at getting this weight off but just with no more pressure of getting it done..

Time to go start Living :)

Love always,

~Kirstin~

Sometimes You Just Gotta Let Go

Sometimes you just have to let go and move on. Start a clean slate and stop looking in the past!

So time to be honest. As most of you may have noticed I haven't blogged or talked about my weight loss journey lately.. I basically have been stuck in a rut since I hit the 40 pounds down mark. I had decided that I wanted to stop posting about my weight journey that way I could surprise my family this summer when I hopefully get to visit them. That was not the wisest idea.. I basically have been a yo-yo since that point. Losing and gaining 10 pounds and still haven't gotten past the 40 pounds. I currently have gained about 20 back. It's very hard to admit that to be honest because I do not like to fail at all. It drives me nuts.. Last night I just broke down crying because I felt like I was mentally breaking down.. This weight thing has been consuming my life and I can't let it have that hold over me! Oh and for those of you that aren't friends with me on Facebook I have created myself an ulcer! I need to stop stressing so much and I know that my weight is one of my main culprits! My doctor said it should be gone in hopefully about a month!!

So currently at the moment I am doing my best learning how to not be an all or nothing person. For example, every year I always want to be able to jog the Race for the Cure 5K race. Well the time always comes around and once I realize I'm not making the progress I should be making I sabotage myself. So I have finally come to the conclusion that I won't be able to jog the whole thing because of my weight and being morbidly obese. However I will still keep training for it and I will do my best even though I won't be able to jog the whole thing. I am going to power walk it at least and jog however much I can. Just gotta get my shin splints to stop hurting so much. If anyone knows how to get rid of them I would love the help!

So anyways.. I have officially decided that instead of focusing on numbers I am going to just focus on eating healthy and exercising at least 30 minutes to an hour every day. I am going to do it in 21 day challenges! So my first challenge starts tomorrow :) I'm super excited! I know this will pay off. 

I am going to win and prove to myself (not to anyone else including my family) that I can lose this weight! Excited to finally see what I will look like as a healthy and "skinny" person :D

Love ya'll!

~Kirstin~