30 before 30!

I can't believe it has been 4 years since I made a blog post! So crazy!

2019 is the year I turn the big 3-0! 

I decided to make a 30 before 30 list and I will be using this post to keep track of my adventures!

1. Shed 100 lbs
2. Stay active
3. Go on a me trip
4. Girls trip
5. Take a photography class
6. Take a photo editing class
7. Spend more time in the Bible
8. Read at least 5 books
9. Get into the dating field
10. Volunteer work
11. Complete a 5K
12. Join a group
13. Go hiking
14. Give blood
15. Go to a Giants game!
16. Get a massage
17. Get another tattoo
18. Go camping
19. Get a fishing license
20. Go to a play
21. Go to a So Cal beach
22. Downsize my belongings
23. Do random acts of kindness
24. Journal every day
25. Go to a drive in movie
26. Blog more
27. More art projects
28. Visit an out of town friend
29. Save Money
30. Go to Hawaii


Thanks for following my adventures!

The Truth

It feels AMAZING to be doing this blog. I can't believe that I haven't blogged in such a long time! 

As all of you know, I am always honest with my friends, family, and followers! I have a big thing that I want to talk about. It is not something that should be taken lightly because I know that so many people struggle with this issue just like me. I am a self diagnosed food addict and I possibly have a binge eating disorder also. I also deal with depression which is hereditary in my family. I have been dealing with weight issues since I was in middle school and weight has always been a up and down yo-yo. Until now my weight has always increased instead of decreasing. I lost around 58 pounds naturally and so far I am down about 20 pounds with Herbalife. 

 If you have been wondering why I haven't been posting much about my weight loss, it's because I have been dealing with my food addiction and binge eating. I realized that most of my life I have been afraid of success. Whenever I hit a new record in weight loss, old habits resurface. Then all of the bad mental games start after a binge happened or I didn't eat clean.  It can last from one binge, a couple of days, or up to a week or two.  It's a really bad habit that I am in the process of breaking! I don't want to sabotage myself every time I start having success. 

 Binge eating really sucks. I have been getting better though! Before, whenever a binge would happen, I wouldn't realize the binge was happening until I started feeling sick from being too full. After eating badly for only a meal or whenever it stops, I feel like crap. I feel sluggish, tired, moody, depressed, and just don't feel like doing anything. Then of course I would start beating myself up mentally because of my binge. Now whenever it starts to happen, thoughts start popping up in my head like, "Kirstin, are you really sure you want to do this? What about your goals?" Now, instead of being led by my emotions, I am taking every thought captive. I am taking the time to sit back and think about what is leading me to eat. I am the kind of person that decides to take on everyone's problems as my own to try to "help fix" the situation. Now I am doing my best to focus on me and what I need to accomplish. I am still there for the people that are in my life, but I am not personally trying to take on their problems anymore. The wonderful part is when I get back on my Herbalife plan, I feel AMAZING! My emotions are better, I have energy, and I am ready to take on the world! I am so grateful for Herbalife. This is the most success in my weight loss journey that I have ever had. This is the first time in my life where I feel like I can truly do this. So honestly I am proud of myself for the changes that I am making.  I have chosen to admit I have a problem with food and I am willing to make the change because I can live a healthier and happier life by my own choice. 

My three month anniversary with Herbalife is on the 20th of this month and I am challenging myself to not weigh myself until then. I have been obsessed with the scale and I am choosing not to be anymore! How much I weigh definitely does not, and never will define who I am! I am loved and I am worthy. I know that because of all of the wonderful people I have in my life. I feel so blessed to have an amazing support system. I am currently challenging myself to love myself for who I am. I can honestly say, I have never loved myself more now than I ever have. It feels pretty darn great. Thank you so much for listening to my rambling! Hope this all made sense!

I am currently in training to become a Herbalife Health Coach to help people that have dealt with the same issues. This company has a great support system and now I know I can truly make it. You haven't heard the last of me yet! I am excited for what the future holds and I am ready to take on the world!

I am Scared of Success

As you know I am always honest with you. Well today I am revealing a huge issue that I am trying to deal with. I am scared of success. Why? I couldn't really tell you the main reason why. 

I know it has been a huge barrier for me in my weight loss journey and a lot of areas in my life. I think for my weight loss, its the fact of I don't know what I will look like when I lose the weight I need to lose. I haven't ever really been a regular size my whole life. I was always a little chubbier or just had a stomach at least. For some reason I just have this fear of it because I know everything I have ever dreamed of and wanted is just on the other side of the barrier. I don't know why I am so scared to jump over or bust through that barrier that has been there too long in my life. 

Now I just joined an awesome new company about a week and a half ago. I have been super happy in this new company but I have to be honest, I have been dealing with a lot of anxiety and stress issues. I just had a little bit of an epiphany. I think I strive for perfection way too much. Thinking that even when I start out that I need to be perfect all the time. Nobody is perfect. Even the most successful person in the world isn't perfect. The only person who is perfect is Jesus. 

I know that Jesus has been giving me so much peace when I have my anxiety problems. I have to admit, I am scared out of my mind right now. Just thinking about all the people I have to talk to and the yearning for wanting to make sales. But I know that Jesus has a perfect plan for me and I just have to trust Him! I know this a brand new thing for me and I have to give it time to work. 

As of today I am going after that success no matter how much anxiety and other issues try to hold me back. I deserve to be happy. I deserve to have success. I want to fight for it. I am going to work hard for it! I know it will pay off well in the long run!

I hope all of you have a great day! Strive for greatness!

Love,

Kirstin

#overcome

Good morning everyone! I have to give props to my Dad really quick. So I have been really struggling the past month with my eating and just staying on track. Even through all of my battle, he keeps telling me to overcome. Just like Mandisa's song. Before I was defeated and thinking I am just too weak to do this anymore. Well now I fully believe that I am a person who overcomes. This mental battle is over. The victory is mine!

Let me give you an example of why I struggle so much. There is for a lack of better words, voices that are constantly talking in my head all day long about what bad foods I should be eating. It always is amplified when I am doing really good with my eating. Along with the constant voices, is the voice of negative thinking. Thinking your not good enough, why even try, guys aren't going to like you until you are thin, your not pretty like she is, look how disgusting you look, and the list can go on forever. I have something to say about that, NONE OF THAT IS TRUE! That is not who God says I am. That is what the enemy wants me to think. I am no longer going to take it anymore. I am a fighter and yes all fighters fall down sometimes. The real strength is when you stand up again. Well, as of today I have stood back up and I am back in the game! 

Yesterday I had the chance to go to San Francisco with some of my best friends. It was such wonderful trip and it actually helped inspire me to get back on the horse. There seriously were runners EVERYWHERE! We were sitting on the beach by the Golden Gate bridge and I was just in deep thought most of the time. I was thinking, I am so tired of living this way! I want to do what they are doing, being healthy and keeping an active lifestyle! I want to run 5K's, half marathons, marathons, and maybe even a triathlon one day!

Now that I am standing back up, it is time to start working on being positive and keeping the healthy lifestyle! With God I know that I am capable of anything. I only have 153 short days until I leave for Australia! I have a lot of weight to lose and a lot of money to earn/raise! If you are interested in donating money to my YWAM journey please comment or message me! Thank you so much!

God Bless,

Kirstin

Being Fat is NOT a Disability.

Recently I went to Dallas with one of my best friends. I am a super morbidly obese person as most of you know. We normally don't easily fit or fit at all in just one plane seat unfortunately. Our first part of the flight to Los Angeles was fine because there was barely anyone on the flight. Once we got to our next terminal it was a whole different story. Just to be safe I asked one of the workers if it was a full flight. Sure enough it was 100% full. So we walked away to go to the barroom. Then sets in the panic and freak out mode because I don't like to make people feel uncomfortable. So after we finished up in the bathroom and we walked back to the terminal to wait for the flight. A worker came up to me and pulled me to the side. She told me that they were going to take care of me and give me an extra seat so we can comfortably fit in the row.

Apparently under some law or something they have to accommodate larger people now because they put it under the category of DISABILITY! Don't get me wrong I am so grateful that they helped me out because I was able to stop stressing and was able to enjoy the flight. But at the same time it makes me really upset with myself!! I don't want to have to be accommodated because of my idiotic choices that I have made over the past 13+ years of not eating healthy and not totally taking off my weight. It's not their fault that I am a super morbidly obese person! It's MY FAULT! So we go up to the counter and she prints me up a ticket to put on the seat next to me. Then she put the tickets in a disability sleeve so we could pre-board. I'm sorry but a disability?? It is NOT a disability with me being fat. It's all about choices. I do not have a disability and I am fighting hard to make sure something like this never ever ever ever has to happen again!

As of tomorrow, Tuesday 8/27/2013 I am going to do a 90 day challenge! Phase 1 is the first 90 days. I want to do the 90 day segments just like they do on Extreme Weight Loss. I just won't be doing the crazy weight loss they do because I want to go at my own pace. I am going to take a whole year to really focus on myself and make me the best me that I can make!! If I don't complete all of my goals in this coming year, it doesn't matter because I will have made huge strides! Even if I have to do it in 2 years that's great because those 2 years will be the best years of my life! Want to know why? Because I am fighting for my life and I will be adding back many years onto my life! I am not defined by my size or the number on the scale!

We had another situation happen where we were ordering food and she was looking at me talking about "us bigger girls." In my head I'm thinking uhhhh no. I am not that girl anymore! Yes I still may have a larger body and clothes for the moment but I consider myself a fit girl. The reason why I consider myself a fit girl is because you become what you think you are! 

So my friends, I am going to propose a challenge! I will be doing this challenge along side you also! I challenge you to go buy Chris Powell's new book Choose More, Lose More For Life. Read it from cover to cover and start a fresh new journey with me!! If you want to lose weight or just trim up, this will be a great challenge for you. I do have to admit though, I am still currently reading his book. So here it is. For the next 90 days I am going to just focus on eating healthy (eating the right foods) and working out. I am not even going to weigh myself until the 90th day. I have always set myself up for failure but not this time! I have always done a "challenge" and said I was going to lose such and such pounds. Well not this time. I'm not even going to give myself a goal of how many pounds to lose. My goal is just to stay on track woth eating the right foods and stay consistent with working out. My 90 day challenge is starting tomorrow August 27th, 2013. So my challenge will end a day before my birthday on November 25th and that will be when I weigh in. Anyways I hope and challenge you to join me on this journey!! If you need encouragement or support just contact me through Facebook or comment on this blogpost! I love you all and want the very best for you!!

Under 350!

I am so stoked right now :))))

I am officially under 350 pounds! My current weight is 349.8! 

That is 13.4 pounds GONE FOREVER!

I haven't been under 350 in such a long time and it feels great! Actually in the beginning of this year we did a 21 day fast and the family I was living with at the time (a very awesome family which i totally love and appreciate I just don't want to say last names on here but their names are Lynn and Lee. aka best host parents you could ever have in your life!!) and I continued doing the Daniel Fast and I actually had lost 25 pounds then. But over time from eating the fast food again I started gaining it all back again. 363.2 is the heaviest I have ever been in my entire life. I will never go back there EVER AGAIN!!

Well I have to get ready for work. Hoping that I have a full day today for more hours because more hours the better this week! Wanna know why? I am going to Vegas next week!! Monavie is having a convention there and I am so excited to hopefully meet sooooo many new people! It's going to be a blast!

Please be praying for our traveling mercies and just to have a great time! Thank you!

OH! and one last note which is kind of a big note buuuut, officially in 5 days I will have been off soda for a YEAR! That is a huge thing for me because before I would have had 4 to 6 sodas a DAY! or more.. But now I have been soda free and I feel great!!

Well time for me to log off, have to get ready!

Hope all of you have a BLESSED day!! 

My name is Kirstin and I AM MONAVIE!

The Beginning of a Wonderful Journey

I pray that some day that this blog will reach many people and by reading it, they will receive hope! Being on a weight loss journey is a very long and hard process. I know my journey is going to be a long one but VERY well worth the ride. When I get to my goal of 175 pounds I am celebrating and going skydiving! How is that for enjoying the ride!! :)

And now the story beings.  I am going to be completely honest with you. My starting weight is 363.2, I am now at 350.6. I basically slimmed down 12 pounds in the first week being on RVL and I have never felt better! Just to let you know, I've learned to say that I have slimmed down *enter in how many pounds* instead of saying that I've lost *enter in how many pounds*. The reasoning for that is because you don't want to lose it because that means that you can find it again, so therefore I have slimmed down 12.6 so far! My good friend September taught me that.

So now to the background story :)

I have been overweight most of my life. Ever since I could remember, I've always just struggled with eating when I had any emotion. So I just kept getting bigger, bigger, and bigger. To be completely honest with you I used to have a lot of suicide thoughts. I realized that was my "way of suicide", to eat myself to death. That way it wasn't really "intentional". I have tried pretty much everything in the book to lose weight except for programs like Jenny Craig and weight loss pills, since I was in Junior High. It was devastating for me to go over 200 pounds and then I wanted to about pass out when I went over 300.. I finally realized that it was my "wall" to keep people out. To where they could get close but not too close. Hence why I have never had a boyfriend. Even though I have had the desire to have a boyfriend for a long time, my weight has always been the big wall between me and that opportunity. But I am no longer going to let my weight get in the way of my happiness! I want to some day (in the near future I hope) get married and have kids. I want to lose this weight so I can actually have a cute pregnant belly and not have to have extra complications with the pregnancy because of my weight!

 So lets get to the nitty gritty :) haha sorry i felt like saying that. So this is my story of how I came to find RVL :)  I had started to go to a meeting called Successful Thinkers in Rocklin. It was my first time there and my mom had set a one on one with a wonderful lady named September. She had told me about a weight loss product that I might want to try but we never expanded on what it was that first meeting. Then I ran into September again and had met Nita for the first time at a Main Street Chamber Event in downtown Sacramento. They had a RVL table up and had samples out. I was like hey this stuff actually tastes pretty good! So I didn't sign up then (I should have signed up right then and there). So after that I was invited to a tasting at the lovely September's house and I got to hear all these amazing stories. I got to meet Rick and Joyce (an amazing couple that is in my upline) he had slimmed down 91 pounds so far and Joyce had slimmed down a little over 30 pounds I believe, and Nita was at about 30, and there were some other people there that had slimmed down some pretty good numbers! They had also told me about this woman named Leah that had already slimmed down 107 pounds (at the time she was at 107, now she is at 115!! I will talk more about her later!). I was just in shock! My initial thought was WOW! this is something I can actually do! Something easy and it's super nutritional for me too! It's a win win win! 

So I finally signed up! In the first week I had slimmed down 12 pounds! How amazing is that! That's huge!! Then we went to a tasting/training in Carson City. I was told that Leah was going to be there and I was like OH MY GOSH i get to meet this amazing woman in person!! I was so stoked! So we get there and I was talking to Nita and all the sudden Rick tapped me on the shoulder and was like Kirstin I want you to meet Leah! And seriously I was speechless, literally!! I couldn't say anything! I was seriously star struck meeting her! So we talked for a minute and then the meeting began. So finally after the meeting was over I finally got the courage to talk to Leah. Leah is just this down to earth, beautiful, amazing woman. I told her my story of how much I want to lose and how I want to go skydiving when i reach that goal, and to my amazement she said that she is going to go with me when I get to that goal!! My mouth literally dropped! I was like Oh My Gosh that is so awesome!! It makes me want to get to that goal even faster!

So I know I have pretty much written a book but I will end it with that story :) I will try to blog as much as I can!

Before I go I want to thank all of the wonderful people that has supported me throughout this weight loss journey! 

Special thanks to all of my parents (especially my mom), September, Nicole, Rick, Joyce, Leah, Nita, Nancy, Sue, Ana, Vincent, Kari, and many other people from Team 212!! And of course all of my wonderful friends such as Elizabeth, Jessica, Justin, Hannah, Stashia, and many others! There is too many to list haha. But sincerely from the bottom of my heart, thank you! I wanna give a thank you shout out to all the lovely people that have supported me on sparkpeople too! All of you are AWESOME!

My name is Kirstin and I AM MONAVIE!