It feels AMAZING to be doing this blog. I can't believe that I haven't blogged in such a long time!
As all of you know, I am always honest with my friends, family, and followers! I have a big thing that I want to talk about. It is not something that should be taken lightly because I know that so many people struggle with this issue just like me. I am a self diagnosed food addict and I possibly have a binge eating disorder also. I also deal with depression which is hereditary in my family. I have been dealing with weight issues since I was in middle school and weight has always been a up and down yo-yo. Until now my weight has always increased instead of decreasing. I lost around 58 pounds naturally and so far I am down about 20 pounds with Herbalife.
If you have been wondering why I haven't been posting much about my weight loss, it's because I have been dealing with my food addiction and binge eating. I realized that most of my life I have been afraid of success. Whenever I hit a new record in weight loss, old habits resurface. Then all of the bad mental games start after a binge happened or I didn't eat clean. It can last from one binge, a couple of days, or up to a week or two. It's a really bad habit that I am in the process of breaking! I don't want to sabotage myself every time I start having success.
Binge eating really sucks. I have been getting better though! Before, whenever a binge would happen, I wouldn't realize the binge was happening until I started feeling sick from being too full. After eating badly for only a meal or whenever it stops, I feel like crap. I feel sluggish, tired, moody, depressed, and just don't feel like doing anything. Then of course I would start beating myself up mentally because of my binge. Now whenever it starts to happen, thoughts start popping up in my head like, "Kirstin, are you really sure you want to do this? What about your goals?" Now, instead of being led by my emotions, I am taking every thought captive. I am taking the time to sit back and think about what is leading me to eat. I am the kind of person that decides to take on everyone's problems as my own to try to "help fix" the situation. Now I am doing my best to focus on me and what I need to accomplish. I am still there for the people that are in my life, but I am not personally trying to take on their problems anymore. The wonderful part is when I get back on my Herbalife plan, I feel AMAZING! My emotions are better, I have energy, and I am ready to take on the world! I am so grateful for Herbalife. This is the most success in my weight loss journey that I have ever had. This is the first time in my life where I feel like I can truly do this. So honestly I am proud of myself for the changes that I am making. I have chosen to admit I have a problem with food and I am willing to make the change because I can live a healthier and happier life by my own choice.
My three month anniversary with Herbalife is on the 20th of this month and I am challenging myself to not weigh myself until then. I have been obsessed with the scale and I am choosing not to be anymore! How much I weigh definitely does not, and never will define who I am! I am loved and I am worthy. I know that because of all of the wonderful people I have in my life. I feel so blessed to have an amazing support system. I am currently challenging myself to love myself for who I am. I can honestly say, I have never loved myself more now than I ever have. It feels pretty darn great. Thank you so much for listening to my rambling! Hope this all made sense!
I am currently in training to become a Herbalife Health Coach to help people that have dealt with the same issues. This company has a great support system and now I know I can truly make it. You haven't heard the last of me yet! I am excited for what the future holds and I am ready to take on the world!