Sometimes you just have to let go and move on. Start a clean slate and stop looking in the past!
So time to be honest. As most of you may have noticed I haven't blogged or talked about my weight loss journey lately.. I basically have been stuck in a rut since I hit the 40 pounds down mark. I had decided that I wanted to stop posting about my weight journey that way I could surprise my family this summer when I hopefully get to visit them. That was not the wisest idea.. I basically have been a yo-yo since that point. Losing and gaining 10 pounds and still haven't gotten past the 40 pounds. I currently have gained about 20 back. It's very hard to admit that to be honest because I do not like to fail at all. It drives me nuts.. Last night I just broke down crying because I felt like I was mentally breaking down.. This weight thing has been consuming my life and I can't let it have that hold over me! Oh and for those of you that aren't friends with me on Facebook I have created myself an ulcer! I need to stop stressing so much and I know that my weight is one of my main culprits! My doctor said it should be gone in hopefully about a month!!
So currently at the moment I am doing my best learning how to not be an all or nothing person. For example, every year I always want to be able to jog the Race for the Cure 5K race. Well the time always comes around and once I realize I'm not making the progress I should be making I sabotage myself. So I have finally come to the conclusion that I won't be able to jog the whole thing because of my weight and being morbidly obese. However I will still keep training for it and I will do my best even though I won't be able to jog the whole thing. I am going to power walk it at least and jog however much I can. Just gotta get my shin splints to stop hurting so much. If anyone knows how to get rid of them I would love the help!
So anyways.. I have officially decided that instead of focusing on numbers I am going to just focus on eating healthy and exercising at least 30 minutes to an hour every day. I am going to do it in 21 day challenges! So my first challenge starts tomorrow :) I'm super excited! I know this will pay off.
I am going to win and prove to myself (not to anyone else including my family) that I can lose this weight! Excited to finally see what I will look like as a healthy and "skinny" person :D
Love ya'll!
~Kirstin~
Hats off to you Kirstin. Great job on taking your eye off everything else and focusing just on you with no strings attached. The world doesn't care what we do. It's what we feel about ourselves and what God thinks of us that counts. The worrying about everything needs to stop anyways. Believe me when someone says something bad about you or even good about you do you think they are thinking about it anymore? No they aren't. It's you others alike that need to just let it go. Take the good and run with it and the bad stuff you just need to throw away and lay it at the Cross.
ReplyDeleteOh Kirstin. Whether you know it or not (yet) you are an inspiration. Your honesty is appreciated by me. I am proud of you. You are keeping yourself honest. You have at least started the fight. I know it feels long and hard now, but your day will come. We are our own worst critics. I pray you continue this journey, and I pray one day I begin my own journey and you can be proud of me too!
ReplyDeleteLindy